I haven’t taken much time to talk about my family here. I have a good family. Mom and Dad were always able to support my sister and I well. We tried our best to be a normal family, but we all have things separating us from the average household. Mom and Dad always had new hobbies, they both worked from home and did really well for themselves and for my sister and I. When it came to things emotionally, I never felt like my parents were a place I could go with anything. And I still believe to this day that I didn’t have a true emotional relationship with my parents until I got to college due to that lack of emotional connection. Similar case when it came to my sister. A lot of that is my fault though, I never tried to talk to them about anything. There was a lot bottled up and I feared the repercussions if I ever chose to uncap it.
Mom and Dad got their fixer-upper house in Brevard during my Sophomore year of high school so a majority of the renovation happened during that year and up into the summer after my Junior year. During my Junior year, my parents started leaving me home alone multiple times a week to be in Brevard to work on the house and spend time there. By this point my sister had already gone to college, so in the time I was able to escape being put to work in Brevard on the weekends, I was able to get away with a lot back home. I had much more time that summer than before, though I didn’t want to mess around with girls or drugs, the boys and I always seemed to find a way to get into some mischief.
We’re going to pick up just after my return from summer camp. I’m down from Brevard by myself and the boys are waiting for me at the tennis court parking lot. It was W, Blake, and L. It was around 7 or 8 when the sun was starting to set in the middle of June, I was coming off this social high from camp that had given me a sense of contentment. There was also a peace in my heart spiritually after I’d reconciled with my relationship with S. I rolled up to the guys hanging in the parking lot, throwing a ball around, trying to figure out what the move was. They were happy to see me back after those few weeks. I even remember W saying something like, “Hank what’d they do to you at that camp?” He could tell that something had changed. They all kinda laughed about how weird it was to see me happy and excited to see people. I had a different tone of voice too, it was legitimate change in me and we were all there for it. That evening was great, the weather was perfect, and there was an amazing sunset. That night was also one of the first nights I remember from us camping out on L’s property. Lighting a campfire in this little area we’d made up as our secret chill spot whenever we had frog gigging nights and were able to get our hands on cheap cigars. Swisher sweets or Black & Mild Wine Wood Tips were the go-to’s and those bro time confessions, desires and jokes were the substance of our fondest memories from that summer and really that year as a whole. I could probably fill a whole other journal with the memories we made camping out there.
That place was all we needed when any one of us were going through a bad time or just needed to get away. There was something about being away from phones and in a place where we didn’t even need conversation to deal with our problems. Though the guys and I didn’t always talk about some of the things in our lives, I believe there was a mutual understanding that we all had our own battles and those things that made us tick. There was a sense of unspoken acknowledgment that we all knew of each others personal problems, and in whatever situation, we’d always be there when the other needed us. That summer I was also working at an airsoft store in town and it was a regular routine every weekend for me to go to L’s after work. A lot of the time I wouldn’t even go home, even for a few days at a time. I had told Mom and Dad it was all good with me that I was alone while they were in Brevard, but the honest truth is, I really hated being alone in that quiet house.
The entirety of that summer consisted of working every other day, camping out almost every night and getting into mischief in between. Wether that meant sneaking out on the Southern Oaks golf course at night for frog gigging or reenacting Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift in the school parking lot, we never really got into real trouble, just typical teenage boys having some fun. On the days I wasn’t working and wasn’t at L’s, you’d probably find me with Blake and W. They were neighbors so it was always easy to get together. By the time summer ended, we had all grown closer than any of us really imagined and we were on our way to start Senior year.
My favorite memory from that summer though and maybe my favorite memory to-date was a time I spent all alone. It was just a random day in the middle of summer just around sunset. I’d driven to the tennis court parking lot because I didn’t want to be home alone. The weather was perfect, I sat on top of the truck with some music playing softly from the inside. There was a slight breeze with just a few clouds in the sky. It was a soft pink sky and with each breath I took, it seemed my worries went with them. A random point of rest in the middle of a nonstop summer that I’ll hold dear for the rest of my life. I remember just chatting with God, thanking him for being in my life and probably for making the sky so beautiful for that nine o’clock sunset. I sat out there for what felt like hours but was only a few minutes, because just before the light left from the sky, the boys rolled up and we set out for another night of shenanigans.